What I want to be when I grow up…

That’s a question for little kids, right? I’ll be 50 next May! So what’s the point of asking this question now, isn’t it too late? Didn’t I squander my youth and if I haven’t grown up by now then chances are I never will, right?

These are antique cliches. Everything is about to change, IF we can learn to steward the global life support system. Assuming sustainable civilizations, it’s highly appropriate to ask more momentous questions.  What I want to ask is – what’s living all about, what’s the point? To raise vivid replacements? To expand consciousness? To have fun?

Note – this isn’t a rant on ‘the meaning of life’. What’s the meaning of a flower, what’s the meaning of a flea?

As a good disciple of Joe Campbell, rather than look for meaning I’m interested in the experience of being human. Anyone who’s tripped knows that choice determines experience. What’s my life about? Or better, what might I like my life to be about? What feeling and flavors, what insights would I like to have? What outcomes would I like to manifest?

In summary, rather than search for the meaning of life (of my life), I constantly choose what it is to be me. So we come to the question of the morning, my life’s work. A life’s work is usually thought of as the stuff left behind, results, contribution. Results flow from process, so a life’s work is a continuum of process (experience) and results.

Running time backward, results could be melted down into process, just as heat applied to ice will yield water. Following this metaphor into the ridiculous dimensions, the forms of ice can be many, but water is universal. Can all results be achieved by just one practice? Are there many paths to achieving one unique result? Swami used to refute the many paths up the mountain metaphor, “there is only one path!” Anyway, that’s another post.

So my life’s work is not only about results, but what I want to experience along the way. This is critically important when I think about making more movies or games or the next thing. The categories are themselves fluid.

Last night I watched Indy Game The Movie. The shots of designers staring at code on the screen gave me a little thrill. I wrote games professionally for awhile, deploying them as interactive installations at a local museum. They lived there for several years and engaged a couple hundred thousand people. That was fun.

I continue to hire roto artists for DOG and while glancing over FXPHD for the latest courses started wondering how to identify the core skills for my future, which begged the question what do I want to experience in my future? I know what I like, but are there other things that I might like that I haven’t yet experienced? What’s the ultimate Dan Kelly palette?

Huge right?

Immortality

First, back to the fundamentals. Is 50 too old to start a life? Have I already used up my chance?

I’ve observed two drawbacks with how others age 1) becoming rigid in thought and thus frightened of consequence 2) loosing physical flexibility, strength, vigor and beauty. I feel very grateful to know these are not inevitable, to live otherwise.

Living forever scares some people. Perhaps the prospect of indefinitely prolonging the horror show that is their life drives the fear. Trapped in dire circumstance – a bad marriage, shitty job, ignorance, poverty, crazy parents, disease, injury – forever? Yikes.

I had a bad marriage followed by prolonged fall out post divorce – chronic illness and depression. Years lost in grief and pain. I can relate to despair, been there.

Hard work and good luck helped me find my way back home, I now have a pretty intriguing life and a body I enjoy. Having a long, long life is very attractive to me.

If Kurzweil is right and I make it to 2023, I might be able to live indefinitely. Even if he’s not, I’ve learned a lot about slowing and even backing up the biological clock. I can do things with my body that fit people 20 years younger can’t. I expect at least another 30 years of robust function, even sans the f’ing singularity.

I think about being 50 as sort of a fantasy scenario. I find myself with experience, resources, confidence, knowledge and health, with prospects for more of the same being very good. Maybe the first 50 were just setting the stage, perhaps my unique Gaian contribution requires a serious foundation. Or maybe I was just a scallywag and shirker.

The point is, I feel excited (and a bit in awe) about designing my future, my presence as an artist and channels of expression. Ephemeral technology? Live performance? Culture hacking? All of the above.

Super Meat

An extended introduction, now to business. An assessment of my capacities is in order AND I want to know more about what I don’t know. What the hell is possible in VFX? How will I dance with digital technology? Identifying the practices I really enjoy. What I would dearly love to be better at. What change I want to see in my world. Seems clear that I am good at many different things. I have excellent luck, overall. These are the categories to search on. Begin.